Awareness

This is how M looked Monday coming out of school. We had an eye doctor appointment and I told her to take sunglasses in case they dilated her eyes (they didn't!). She had to show Big Daddy her "look" and he took the pictures. I was transferring pictures from the cameras today and saw it and immediately thought I'd be witty if I made some Unabomber comment.

Then I thought again for a couple of reasons. First, I wouldn't appreciate it if someone made it about her. She's beautiful and innocent and the antithesis of what Ted Kaczynski did. What kind of mother would I be to link my girl with evil actions?

Second, after we had E, I read an article about our language and such. In this article, it pointed out that using "to drink the Kool-Aid," may seem pretty innocuous and harmless; a way to designate someone being a sheep. In reality, family members of the 909 people who died at Jonestown probaby don't feel it's harmless (read the Wiki entry, it's heartbreaking).

I've tried to write about this before, but began to really think about it regarding this picture and my initial impulse. I checked it because three people were killed and twenty-three others injured. These people have loved ones who probably don't feel like their life is a throwaway comment because of the bombings, not to mention the rest of the Kaczynski family.

Because on occasion I try to improve as a human being, I only direct you to look closely at my beautiful girl and note the missing teeth.

The Week in Car Conversations

Car Conversations are the best. These both occurred between our house and the daycare where the girls attend (all of a couple miles):

Monday, July 13
Me: [something about how tall the corn is]
M: [asked something about agriculture]
Me: Well, we could ask Uncle Jack about it next time we see him.
M: Or Cousin Timmy.
Me: Yes, we could ask him too.
M: Does Timmy wear a farmer's hat?
Me: What do you mean a farmer's hat?
M: You know, a straw hat.
Me: I don't think so, I think he just wears baseball caps.

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Friday, July 17
[backing out of the house, turning off the NPR newscast before I have to explain various issues in the world]
M: What is that?
Me: It's the news, honey.
M: What is it saying?
Me: Just the bad stuff that people do sometimes. I don't want to listen to it this morning.
M: Did they hurt the President?
Me: No, he's fine. It's other stuff in the world.
M: [long pause] Before going to sleep, I say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Me: Excellent. What else do you think about before going to sleep?
M: I think about God.
Me: What do you think about God?
M: I think he's one of the best people to take care of us.
Me: Okay.
[conversation continued on why people believe in different God, why people hurt or are mean to people who don't believe in the same God, what girl gods were called, etc. You know, things one can totally address in the 5 minute commute with a six year old]
Finally...
Me: Well, honey, things about God are kind of complex.
M: What's complex?

Character

A recent sticky note that I found with the following:
1. $1 to E
2. Pot of gold - lost & found

Translated (must have been in March of this year):
1. In Big Daddy's family, there's a tendency to give money as well as gifts. Uncle E always slips the kids a buck or two; and for various minor holidays (Easter, Halloween, etc.) there's usually a card and a small or medium bill. For E's birthday, M and I had picked out a card from M and as I was having her sign it and get it ready for E's party (held in March this year), M raced back to her room to get something out of the cup that holds her spending money. She comes back with a dollar to put in E's card, because that's what you do.

2. At school, we usually received a calendar of various types of activities. Parents were encouraged to do 2 - 3 a week, then turn it in at the end of the month with comments from the kid and the adult about what they liked, etc. One of the activities asked the student to tell what they would do if they found a pot of gold; so one morning as we were working through some of the activities, I asked M what she would do. She said, "turn it into lost and found."

Is it any wonder that I love this kid so?

Mysterious

7/8/09

M: Mom, come here. There's something mysterious in my window.

Me: Hmm, mysterious in your window? Let's see!

Enters M's room and hears the music that's coming from neighbors who live behind through M's open window. I told her that the neighbors were playing music and that we could hear it, kind of like when Big Daddy plays music when he's cleaning the garage. Her tone, though, throughout was of awe that there's was fun music outside.

Literacy

This year, M learned to read in school.

It's amazing to me, watching M learn to read and helping out at the end of school for a few week, that any child learns to read. English is a bitch of a language. When we're reading together, it's a constant struggle....

Me: No honey, this time the "i" sounds like ice cream, not kitten.

I can see that M gets frustrated and I can't always blame her. What's really funny about it, though, is that all the kids I read with at her school and in helping her, the kids stumble on what is seemingly the easiest, and most common words, like it, is, in, and sail through sometimes and elephant. I think it's because is, it, and in "look" alike (word recognition) and they have to really stop and think about the sounds, while elephant and sometimes don't "look" like other words they're using at this point.

What's also been interesting is that, despite Big Daddy and I being huge readers and having read to M since before her birth, she really doesn't want to read by herself. I think that is due to a) she doesn't like to do things that she doesn't do well (hmm....apple falling from tree?) and b) she gets our (Big Daddy & my) undivided attention when we read together. Truth be told, I love snuggling up with her and reading together.

In the interest of practice, though, we have a deal this summer to read for at least 10 minutes and do some workbook pages in exchange for time on the computer to play with the god-forsaken Webkinz that we caved and bought her. We include her reading to Little Peeps, which, I have to say, is one of the cutest things ever. Peeps is reading and Little Peeps is rolling all over her to get closer. It's hard not to eat them both up in their cuteness.

Recently

While eating breakfast (7/2/09):

M: Mom, who killed God?

Me: [??? scrambling widely to figure out where this is coming from*] What do you mean?

M: Who killed God? Why did he die?

Me: You mean Jesus?

M: Yes

Me: Long, explanation about God, Jesus His Son, Ancient Times, Concepts of Ancient Justice Systems... And when Jesus lived, they didn't have jails so they punished people other ways.

M: Like what?

Me: Well, they tied them up to a tree like they did Jesus [shows small representation with pencils and pens.] You know what else they did?

M: What?

Me: Well, if you stole something, they'd cut your hand off.

M: Why?

Me: Because if you don't have a hand then how would you take care of yourself? You would have to have someone take care of you, and who would want to take care of a thief?

M: Other theives.

Me: [internally - crap, foiled again] Of course.


***************************************
A short time later that same morning (have I ever mentioned M's curiosity?)

M: What happens to the water soldiers when blah, blah?

Me: You mean the Coast Guard guys?

M: Yes.

*Note that I did actually try to explain to a six-year old the complexities of Creation, God, Jesus, the killing of Jesus, and Ancient History. The more I tried to explain it to someone with a black and white view of the world (nuance and subtlety still lacking, although she's pretty good at sarcasm, go figure :-) ) and it seems totally insane.

The War on Ignorance

In February, our Physical Therapist (PT) put E in a walker. We'd been working on progressing through various gross motor milestones and it was time to begin working upright.

While filming her on my camera phone, I thought nothing of the fact that she was in a walker or uses an assitance device. Where before having E, I would have looked at a child and thought something pitying ("oh, how sad") and some gratitude that it wasn't my child. What an ass I now realize I was (okay, still am sometimes), because I didn't feel pity for my child for using a walker. I cheered and laughed and was so excited to see her have the use of equipment that would help her. I was grateful, so grateful for people who think about how to provide therapy and therapeutic equipment for kids (and adults).

I felt rather proud of myself that I can realize the juxtaposition of these ideas. That I realize that people might view the video above and feel sadness or pity towards my child; and I'm a little smug knowing that they are the ones to be pitied because of their blinders (you know, the ones I used to wear, or so I thought).

Now, I should digress and let you know that we have a standing PT appointment on Tuesday. Generally, we see familiar faces of other kids who are seeing other therapists (speech, PT, occupational). There's a kind of protocol of smile and acknowledge, but no one really talks about the various conditions/circumstances that bring kids to the center.

There's a baby girl (probably 9 months old) who has been coming in with her dad. I'm not sure what her circumstances are, but she seems to have some physical limitations and I have yet to really see her alert. However, her dad (and sometimes her mom) are there every week.

At Tuesday's meeting, we worked on walking in the walker (now with no seat), climbing stairs (E loves!) and the treadmill. The room we were in, though, had other various equipment, but mostly the kind of wheelchairs that provide full body support. We carried on, trying to give them privacy while also working on our issues (the room is the one with the stairs equipment). As it transpired, though, they were putting the little girl in one of the wheel chairs.

Despite what I know, I still had that moment of sadness tinged with pity. I would like to know more about her and her family (the questions I would ask, though, may not be the obvious ones now....that's for another post), but the whole privacy thing (and HIPAA) prevent it; not to mention that we're there to work on E and not socialize. Anyway....the point is, I had that moment of pity coupled with gratitude that their circumstances seemed, to me at least, to be harder than mine. I was grateful that our little E was not being fitted for a wheelchair.

Then, as we were moving to the room where the treadmill was, I saw the dad taking pictures of his little girl in her wheelchair; and I knew that his only thought was that this piece of equipment was going to make his daughter's life better in some way.

Findings

Me: Why is there a pile of ripped up tissues under your bed?

M: I wanted confetti for my guys [stuffed animals].

Progress

February 3, 2009




June 23, 2009


Doesn't E look so much bigger with the piggies? Also, this video needs the Top Gun theme song playing in the background. That was the only thing I could think of when I was watching her in the harness.

The Girls I Love